Our happiness can be greatly affected by the quality of relationships we have with other people.
Home life is better or worse, depending on how we interact with the people who come and go there.
Our personal life is colored by how we interact with the people who weave in and out of our daily life.
The great news is that we ourselves have a great deal of control over whether or not we are happy in the midst of our various types of relationships.
Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
- and What You Can Do About it TODAY
Relationships get into trouble for many reasons. Furthermore, young couples often have different issues to deal with than older couples. Every stage of life presents challenges, so if you're going through struggles in a relationship you can be sure that you are not alone.
First, let's look at a list of behaviors that indicate a relationship is in trouble. You may be experiencing one or more of these problems.
Realizing that these problems are COMMON can be the first step in easing your pain. You are not being singled out to suffer in this way. Others are also going through similar unhappy experiences and they, too, are seeking solutions.
In today's society, leaving the relationship is the first instinct. But some circumstances don't allow for this option. If there are children or financial problems, staying together may be the only means of survival - at least for the time being. However, this does not mean that there is no relief for the pain. There is always hope of a brighter day and you can start today to find that light.
Here is a List of Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
Problems within a relationship can be categorized by physical, verbal, emotional, sexual and financial. You can also have lifestyle issues, such as in-law problems, religious difference, different home life expectations and so on.
Criticism and ridicule
Lack of communication
Other forms of Verbal abuse
Loss of emotional intimacy
Inability to forgive
Loss of respect
Jealousy and insecurity
Narcissistic or controlling behavior
Threats of leaving
Trying to change you
Little physical affection
Sexually focused relationship
Disagreement on major values
Dishonesty and secrecy
Poor money skills or values
Overly involved extended family
What You Can Do TODAY to Start Solving Your Problems?
For Physical Abuse:
Physical abuse is the most serious sign of an unhealthy relationship and is in a category all its own because if you are being physically abused, it could escalate and your life could be in danger. (Perhaps it already is.) If this is your situation, get help TODAY from the police department or social services. Don't depend on a friend or church to help you solve this problem; it's too serious and must be dealt with swiftly.
Don't warn your abuser that you're going to talk to the police. Just do it. At the police station, ask to speak to an officer of your gender. Let the officer know you want to know all your options and what they recommend.
For Verbal and Emotional Abuse:
The first thing you should do today is realized that nobody should be verbally or emotionally abused. It's one thing to have a disagreement; it's another thing to be abused.
Every relationship has disagreements. Even best friends don't agree on everything. But if the situation crosses the line where you feel bad about yourself for your opinion or you feel belittled and worthless, things have entered the realm of abuse.
There is a great deal written about emotional abuse. The more you learn about it, the more you'll be able to deal with it properly. Our natural tendencies are to shout back, to name-call and to belittle in return. This is not a solution and could, in fact, make matters worse.
So if you are experiencing verbal or emotional abuse, start TODAY to learn all you can about this issue. There are articles and videos online that can help you find comfort and options. Buy a book on the subject and read what others have done to solve this problem.
Most importantly, work on your self-esteem. Verbal and emotional abuse rips us apart inside and leaves us feeling worthless. Realize that you are a valuable and unique human being. You don't deserve to be abused by ANYONE.
To learn how others have successfully dealt with verbal and emotional abuse, seek out videos, articles and books that address the issue of self esteem. Don't underestimate this aspect of the situation. It may well be the KEY to solving your problem.
The Bible has many promises and statements about God's love for us. It would be worth your time to learn what this great book says about leaning on God during times of trouble. Start TODAY.
For Sexual Issues:
If your relationship is based only on the need for sex, then it's time to find other things that you and your partner have in common.
If sexual relations have died off, there is a need to understand the reasons. A book about the passages of life will help you understand that it could be a health issue. Start by exploring the bookstore for books on this important life issue.
For Financial Difference:
There are countless books and courses designed to help couples work through financial problems. Start TODAY to seek out all the free help you can find. Once you zero in on the root of the problem, you may decide to hire someone to help you solve the problem once and for all.
Sometimes what appears to be simply a lack of money is really a misuse of money. On the other hand, it might be someone's false idea of the best use of the money. Therefore, it may take some exploration to find what is the true cause of the financial difficulty. You may find that the solution is simplier than you thought it would be.
For Lifestyle Difference:
Do you and your partner have drastically different ideas of how the household should be run? Do you each have different viewpoints of what's important in life? Do you value money while he values recreation?
Thankfully, lifestyle differences do not have to end in divorce but can, in fact, lead to personal growth and an interesting, diverse life.
The first thing to understand it that it's almost impossible to change another person's view of what's valuable to them. But what CAN be changed is your own personal growth, exploring and enjoying what YOU like and what type of person you want to become.
Today might be the day to set some goals for yourself. Who do you want to be 5 years, 10 years or 15 years from now? There are loads of excellent books on personal transformation and living a purposeful life. Delving into this line of thinking will open a big, exciting world to you. Treat yourself TODAY to this information and let your imagination run wild.
Just like the human body, relationships can become sick and need nurturing. Breaking up with your partner is not always the best solution.
If you recognize signs of an unhealthy relationship in your life, start by exploring all your options. Perhaps someone else has found a solution to your exact problem. Don't be afraid to ask for help from people who may have the right answers.
Second and most importantly, work on yourself. Abuse of any kind can do a number on your heart and mind. Start today to strengthen them with positive self talk. Go today to YouTube, search for "affirmations" and listen to the videos.
If you have been emotionally abused, these affirmations may sound silly to you. You might even be afraid to believe them because you have been conditioned to believe the opposite. Nevertheless, stick with them. Return to them from time to time. If you are working on building your self esteem, these affirmations will comfort you when you are ready for them.
So TODAY is the day to start loving and respecting yourself and doctoring those parts of you that have been wounded. As you gain strength physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially, you will be better equipped to deal with the problems caused by your unhealthy relationship.
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